Family Shadows

1. Where does the family shadow begin? In which generation? With whom?
the shadow begins on both sides many generations back with the wandering jews.  the violence and betrayal a stunned look on all the faces.  how can i retain my humanity when the outside mirror says i am less than?  what is there to pull up a deeper humanity from the self? nothing in my dying and death bringing religion.  how do I believe. 

2. How has the family shadow affected different family members? Who has it hurt most?
the youngest born has been the most affected as the weight of denial bears down on them.  Madeline, Jeffrey, Mom, Lennie.  Older siblings survive with anger.

3. How has the family shadow wounded or affected me?
Repressed anger, shock and despair.  A running away from family; quick to separate and cut. 

4. Are there more than one family shadows? In which generation do they begin? With whom?
Betrayal from all; physical violence from paternal side.  emotional neglect and abuse from maternal side. 

5. Who in my family needs the most healing?  Dad for violence
Is this person living or departed? he departed early.

6. Who have I been wounded by? neglect from mom and dad.
Who have I wounded? probably them all because of my hurt and inability to maturely deal with it.

7. Who have I been loved by? we all love each other; that is not the question. Who have I loved?

8. Who needs help? mom from us
us from each other.
From whom? Do I need help from anyone? who can help me?  no one can help me?  I need to help myself now. Do I need to help anyone?

9. Who do I need to have distance or separation from? How much, and for how long?  No it's ok. 

10. Who do I need to have a permanent break from? none

11. Who do I have compassion for?   all of us.